Why fifty shades of grey

But the publisher has also failed to catch up with contemporary sexual mores, she says. Even though some have dismissed the Fifty Shades books as a slightly edgier version of the standard romance novel—and, presumably, the movie as a slightly kinkier version of the average chick flick—the portrayal of BDSM is a nontrivial aspect of their popularity. But the story of Fifty Shades is mundane, in the most straightforward sense of the word.

There is no big idea or provocative subject matter or boundary-pushing craftsmanship. When it is kinky, though, it tends to be unhealthy. This is clear at several points in the book. Tentatively, I uncurl my legs. Should I run? This is it; our relationship hangs in the balance, right here, right now. She does it. He spanks her—in a way that he feels is erotic, and that another partner might feel is erotic, but Ana clearly does not.

And he hits me again and again. From somewhere deep inside, I want to beg him to stop. But even though she ostensibly consented to this interaction, it seems like a thin kind of consent. Eventually, Ana agrees to some of the activities listed in the contract, giving explicit verbal consent. This is not how experienced members of the kink community have sex. No matter what, these guidelines are always explicit.

Some parties you might go to might hand those to you as you go in. In other words, E. In interviews, practitioners said they like kink and BDSM for lots of reasons: For some, pain releases the same kind of endorphins you might feel after running 10 miles, or after orgasm. Some enjoy the intense power dynamics involved in being completely dominant over or submissive to someone else.

People might have fetishes for certain objects, like shoes or leather, which they feel the need to engage with in order to be sexually satisfied. But that is not how the kink is portrayed in Fifty Shades. For all the talk of nipple clamps and butt plugs, BDSM is actually presented as a pathology, not a path to pleasure. Toward the middle of the first book, when Christian hands Ana a list of possible activities they might partake in, she reacts with shock—and, to an extent, a disgust that she never gets over.

The thought depresses me. Although these kinds of desires can be related to other mental issues, the organization says in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , merely having these desires does not justify clinical intervention. With but a few swift strokes, he can get her to orgasm—loudly, frequently, in any position and any location—by intuiting what her body wants. Sex itself is portrayed as a comprehensive proxy for the emotions involved in their relationship.

Fifty Shades eroticizes sexual violence, but without any of the emotional maturity and communication required to make it safe. In the wake of numerous allegations of rape on college campuses— at Princeton , UNC Chapel Hill, the University of Michigan , and many more—school administrators, students, sexual-assault-prevention advocates, policymakers, and more have been having important conversations about what constitutes consent.

Particularly in booze-soaked college environments, full of relatively sexually inexperienced young people, what constitutes consent? Obviously, there are many clear-cut cases of sexual assault on campuses, and the people who commit those crimes deserve to be punished fully and harshly.

But the law is clearly limited in its ability to determine what healthy sexual norms are, much less establish them—especially in environments like colleges campuses, where most people are sexually and emotionally inexperienced. Christian Grey : Listen to me. I want you to go home right now. Anastasia Steele : You're so bossy! Ana, let's go for a coffee. No, stay away from me Ana! I don't want you!

Get away. Come here, come here! Go away! Christian Grey : That's it. Tell me where you are. Anastasia Steele : A long way from Seattle! A long way from you. Christian Grey : Which bar? What's it called? Anastasia Steele : I don't know.

I gotta go, though. Christian Grey : Which bar Ana? Anastasia Steele : [to girl in line] I told him. Sign In. Play trailer Drama Romance Thriller. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson. Kelly Marcel screenplay by E. James based on the novel by. Top credits Director Sam Taylor-Johnson. See more at IMDbPro. Music Video Trailer TV Spot. Trailer 2. Trailer 1. Clip Christian Shows Ana The Playroom. Christian Surprises Ana. Photos Top cast Edit.

Jennifer Ehle Carla as Carla. Eloise Mumford Kate as Kate. Marcia Gay Harden Mrs. Grey as Mrs. Not normal BDSM. Worse, the novel actually perpetuates unhealthy behavior , according to a Michigan State University study:. For more, see 50 Shades of Abuse. What we learn from this is not that abuse sells, but that love sells, even at its unhealthiest.

Without spoiling too much, what humanizes Christian in our eyes is that he himself was abused. Of these fantasies, perhaps this is the biggest, the idea that love alone can take an abused and abusive person and turn him into a healthy, functioning adult.

Love can conquer. Love can heal. Love can and does redeem. This is one reason we love great stories, because they show us the truth about the power of love. The book brought up important subjects we need to talk about. As writers, we need to wade into the morally grey areas of society. We need to depict both the darkness of the human condition and the potential for good. What Fifty Shades of Grey teaches me is that our fantasies have the power to change the reality in which we live.

With this in mind, we need to cultivate better fantasies. Our fantasies have the power to change reality. We need to cultivate better fantasies. Why do you think Fifty Shades of Grey is so popular? Let us know in the comments section. Instead, write about your romantic fantasy for fifteen minutes, then save it somewhere no one but you will find it!

Join over , readers who are saying YES to practice.