Arranged marriage cultures thrive on authority and entrusted leadership of guardians. Though literature never does, one could call arranged marriage a rule of guardians or of parental authority or an aristocratic marital system. Children need authorities to guide and reassure them. Adults fulfil an essential part of themselves in being authorities; it is one way of expressing care for others. Parental authority is a necessary component in arranged marriage systems. If they do, shame and dishonour may be brought to the family.
The idealized typology of the arranged marriage, as a Weberian theoretical construct, demonstrates that, at the outset, arranged marriage systems are traditionally systems of community, hierarchy, guardianship, and authority. So described, the arranged marriage finds its rationality in a system that safeguards mate selection by placing this under the guardianship and authority of elders of the extended families of both marital agents with the aim to align both families in a durable relational bond, that strengthens its economic and societal standing, and that allows for a legitimate space and belonging for the conjugal union.
This typology is an ideal construct, in the same way the autonomous marriage is also an ideal construct. All around the world, this ideal is an inspirational reference point in arranged marriage cultures. This said, of course reality does not always represent the ideal portrayed, however inspirational.
Still, the value of the ideal and the ideal type remain: this construct, even if it is an utopia, is necessary as it provides a neutral and unbiased understanding of the arranged marriage, one that is detached from a restrictive binary approach that others the arranged marriage.
The ideal construct serves also as a measuring rod to study the reality of arranged marriage practices that depart from that construct. Taking a look then into these realities, one will find that, for one, elders are not always capable of arranging marriages well. They may confuse parental authority with the exercise of parental power, force even. In addition, elders continuously share marriage arranging duties with their children, as the variety of semi-arranged marriage types suggest.
Elders may not always believe that transitions towards freedom and individualism are proper. Many, in arranged marriage cultures, parents as well as young people, are grappling with the blended agendas of the liberal and communitarian, of the individual and the collective that are shaping arranged marriage realities.
A very sensitive portrayal of an intergenerational struggle in this regard can be seen in the drama film A Fond Kiss : protagonist Casim, son of Pakistani Muslim immigrants to the UK, asks his parents to accept his love choice for Roisin, a Catholic divorcee.
This Casim refuses and the family breaks up. Hybrid arranged marriages are in a sense partly separated from and partly belonging to traditional as well as liberal structures.
It is vital to represent and express belonging to these traditional structures in the discourse on arranged marriage. It is important to acknowledge notions of guardianship, authority, and community when one measures change and modernization in arranged marriage realities, but also when one measures distancing from that very modernization in efforts to hold on to traditions.
The current tendency, when marital agents demand a stronger role in mate selection, is to capture this in a language of freedoms, control, agency and the rising individual. Marital agents granted or demanding a role in match making, challenge in essence part of the authority of parents, but do not act as fully atomistic units.
When parents allow their child to jointly decide with them on marriage matters, this is articulated in literature mostly as a step that invests power in the child. However, this ought to also be valued as a sharing of parental authority or guardianship with the child. Adding authority and guardianship to the conversation on the arranged marriage gives rise to a language that relates to and represents community. For instance, why do some parents share their authority, why do others not?
Might it be that in diaspora contexts elders are searching for new meaning to traditional concepts such as authority and guardianship and need a language to cope with this hybrid dynamic rather than a language that calls upon their children to exit anything traditional?
Asking and addressing such questions will contribute to a discourse on arranged marriage that respects the very foundations it is built upon. It is knowledge about these foundations that is pivotal if we wish to understand the arranged marriage proper and change in that domain.
This article argued for a full renunciation of the binary approach adopted in literature in studying arranged marriage. In the binary approach, the arranged marriage emerges as a lesser conjugal union in comparison to the ideal and prized autonomous conjugal union. Recognizing that the arranged marriage must be valued on its own merits, this article sought for an ideal typical construct of the arranged marriage, as a neutral departure point in a study of this marital system and as a tool to explore arranged marriage realities.
The arranged marriage is fundamentally rooted in the sociological principles of collective belonging, parental guardianship and the protective, provident authority of elders in match making. This article calls for a fresh discourse on arranged marriage and changing arranged marriage patterns that reflect these principles in order to arrive at a much needed and understudied fuller appreciation and conversation of a marital system that engages hundreds of millions.
In order to be as impartial as humanly possible, this article does not offer personal opinions on or preferences for the arranged or the autonomous marriage.
It is of fundamental importance that any scholar on the arranged marriage system and many other subjects for that matter is an unbiased scholar or at least strives to be. Authors referring to this binary are eg F. Anitha and A. Mohr, p. Notably, H. Douglas ed. Sennett, Authority New York: W. Norton, Lee and L. Compare Ahmad n 1 ; see also Pande n 1 82; see also Aguiar n 1 Nisbet n 4 pp. Publishers, ; see also Arendt n 4 , on progress theory.
See S. Witte Jr. Xiaohe and M. See for these terms W. Allendorf and R. Enright n 20 ; Shariff n 1 ; Anitha and Gill n 1 ; G. Aguiar n 1 11—13, see also Anitha and Gill n 1 ; Shariff n 1.
Hodge and N. See for a slightly different categorization R. Zaidi and M. Qureshi n 43 as referred to by Zaidi and Shuraydi n 43 ; Gagoomal n 25 ; Cherlin n 10 ; see also for modified traditional types, Shariff n 1 ; H. Qureshi n 43 , as referred to by Zaidi and Shuraydi n 43 ; S. Shariff n 1 ; S. Manglos-Weber and A. Shariff n 1 , who refers to M. Stopes-Roe and R. Ahmad n 1 , ; M. Keyserling ed. Pande n 21 , italics added, referring to the Oxford English Dictionary.
Charsley and A. Pande n 1 75; for more on this love see K. Lewis ed. Reeve: Democracy in America London: as referred to by Dumont n 4 Weber n 3 , translation by H. Ahmad n 1 p. Khandelwal n 1 ; Ahmad n 1 ; Pande n 1 ; Mohammad n 83 ; Pande n 44 For existing analyses on the topic, see Goode n 13 ; D. Mace and V.
See e. Aguiar n 1 15, 25, —44; G. See eg Goode n 13 pp. Despite that, I felt a strange sense of certainty. Being with him felt natural and familiar.
His presence steadied me and I was calmer than I had been for years. I felt accepted for who I was rather than what I was. When I explained this, I thought it meant we were over, but he persisted. I never wanted to have to choose one love over another. I was not trying to reject my upbringing or religion. That meant something to me and still does. Making my choice and telling my family about Richard was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.
There was disappointment and guilt, and it took time. Eventually we found our way to understanding. Though Richard and I were engaged within three months of our first meeting, it did not feel rushed. It felt like we were doing the right thing. Ten years later, it still does. It is a choice to be made every single day, sometimes without realising it. It takes effort, even if it feels effortless. It feels like coming home. As a teenage girl, I fell in love with a version of love but hardly any of those stories included women like me.
I never saw the loves of girls of my background played out on screen or written about in books or magazines unless their lives ended badly; women of my Muslim background are rarely included nor given happy endings in the narratives of popular culture, mostly because someone else is always writing our script for us.
But it matters to me, to write my own story and not have it assumed for me by someone else. It matters to me to tell my own happy ending, because it matters to me that other women, girls like my younger self, might feel understood and not alone. However, it was at one time equally popular in western culture. In the Elizabethan era, it was not uncommon for parents in high society to arrange marriages among their children to ensure that they maintained the economic status and bloodlines that they greatly valued.
Parents of the bride would commonly offer their daughter to the son of a family of equal economic status. Marriage in the Arab World : A detailed report about the concept of marriage and how it is perceived in the Arab culture. Arranged Marriages In Indian Culture : Detailed information about the tradition of arranged marriages in the Indian and Muslim cultures. The History Behind Arranged Marriages An ageless tradition, arranged marriages have long since been a part of eastern society.
With roots in Indian and Oriental cultures, arranged marriages were made to maintain the status quo and continue to serve that function. Less popular now in western cultures, arranged marriages were common, especially within royalty. In more recent years, arranged marriage was used in the English monarchy with the union of the late Princess Diana and Prince Charles. Elizabethan Marriages and Weddings : Arranged marriages were very common in the Elizabethan era.
Learn more about the early presence of arranged marriage in western culture. Marriage and Divorce in Japan :A history of marriages, both arranged and organic, and the divorce rate in Japan between and Arranged Marriages in Modern Times Arranged marriages hold many of the same traditions as un-arranged marriages, including exchanging vows and rings.
Marriage means different things to different people, and it is always wise to keep that in mind. Forced and Early Marriages : The Advocates for Human Rights warns against the dangers of arranged marriages and the increased risk of domestic violence.
The Gate to Marriage : A description of the benefits of arranged marriages, as well as the downfalls it might present.
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